Gabe "Goob" Kane

By Way Of: Arlington, VA

Studying Course 18: Mathematics

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Twig Class:

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Past Positions:

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None…yet

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None…yet

It is said that if Isaac Newton could see further by standing on the shoulders of giants, then Russian Oktavist singers see further by standing on the shoulders of Gabe Kane. This 6’ 6” behemoth coalesced into being when the eruptions of Mount Kilauea reverberated in its vents, creating an echochamber of displaced magma that solidified into what is now the Gaben. From the ashes, the Gaben rose himself out by uttering his first word: “BOOOOWWWWWWWWW”. He was born to sing acapella. The vibrations that emanate from his vibranium-coated vocal chords can cause great euphoria in both women and men. Please consult your primary care provider if such euphoria should last for more than four hours. Or don’t. In the event that he chooses a mate, he endows the lucky female with the gift of producing vocal overtones, as it is his primary form of copulation with the opposite sex. People flock by the millions to attend such masterful displays of vocal harmonies that rival various religious pilgrimages to Vatican City, Mecca, Jerusalem, and Topeka, Kansas.

He is the pulse of the universe, the cosmic microwave background radiation of our souls.

Gabe Kane: coming to a seismograph near you.