He’s like Biology without the I. He’s a guitarist. He’s a drummer. He’s a singer. He’s Indian. He’s kick ass. If you ever wondered what it would be like to be good at everything, just ask Big Balla.G. Whether you want to play the table like the biggest drum set in the world, belt out some high tenor parts, ace Andre Agassi in tennis, or out-dribble Ronaldinho, Balz is your man. He even rocks the beat box occasionally. He has the lung power of a tornado and uses it to hit crazy high notes with perfect tone. He’s invincible, never having broken any bones. And I’d bet with a body like his he could run at super speeds. Is he Superman? Never fear, Balaji ‘Money’ Mani is here, just be careful not to fall in love with him.
A dyslexic panda was once spotted stumbling out of Paris Hilton’s limousine. Nine months later, Justin Sousa was brought into this world. Justin was born to perform so he left his home at the age of 3 years and began by writing dramas on the Lifetime channel. He got his first big break playing Sinbad’s stunt double, and subsequently Moesha and Fresh Prince of Bel-air’s stunt doubles. Nobody knows why he was chosen to be the stunt double for so many ethnically diverse actors. Sousa came to MIT not only looking for satiating his thirst for poignant male a cappella but because he wanted to attend a school that was an acronym. Other acronyms in Justin’s pleasantly plump life include KFC, BLT, PB&J, and DUI. If he’s not shattering glass with his sweet, tenor voice, he’s probably eating or wondering about his odd conception in a limousine.
What do you get when you cross a chandelier, a red, satin bra, and a cumquat? For no other reason than wanting to say the word ‘cumquat,’ I actually have no idea. I do, however, know that when mixing an amazing boy-band voice with dashing good looks, you get what is commonly referred to as the Kirbious Baylinous. Kirby, the first of his species, has successfully entered the music world with flying colors, a phrase which here means ‘with mad skillz and an appetite for Kosher foods.’ While secretly trying to start a band known as ‘Three Whities and an Indian Guy
Although Ray-J was born a poor black child, he soon grew to become a very tall white boy. His life was one of trial and tribulation. As a boy Ray-J loved images of clowns, with there multicolored smiling faces filling his every joy. But one day when Ray-J was walking home from school he discovered what appeared to be large red foot prints leading into his house. Ray-J followed and soon discovered a clown had broken into his humble abode. Ray-J and the clown stared, gazing deeply into the soul of the other. The tension was unbearable. Finally, with the power of the gods behind him Ray-J extended his mighty wings, pulled out his sword of justice, his armor of the kings, his harp of – well, uh, I’m not quite sure why he had a harp, and with his mighty roaring bass/baritone voice he exclaimed ‘Leave this place clown and never return.’ And with that the clown was gone, and Ray-J knew he was no normal mortal. He was meant for bigger better things. He knew only one group could handle the greatness of Ryan – The Logs. With this Ray-J began his quest to find The Logs and become the most powerful bass/baritone the world has ever seen, although still deeply terrified of clowns. Ray-J never wavered from his quest until now, for it appears The Logs have found Ray-J.