King

Eddie Taehoon Kim was born a superstar in South Korea. The earth actually shook when he entered the world (but honestly, with parents like Queen Elizabeth and Zeus, would you expect anything less?). Eddie quickly became a prominent figure in the music world. Born with perfect pitch and the voice of a lark, Eddie was singing at local bars and restaurants before he could even talk – most babies cry, Eddie Kim sang. By age four he was regularly performing for royalty. In his early teen years, Eddie decided to try his skills as a dancer, and immediately dominated that field as well. Tearing it up singing and dancing in the hit song ‘Sorry, sorry’ Eddie became the biggest K-Pop hit since…well…ever!

In other aspects of his life, young Mr. Kim has been named ‘Most Attractive Man in the World’ nineteen years in a row by People Magazine. And yes, he is only eighteen years old. How he managed it, we have no idea. As smart as he is beautiful, Eddie is currently a member of the most incredible class ever to grace the halls of MIT – the class of 2013. Embarking on the only quest left that could ever hope to challenge the Great Kim, Eddie joined the MIT Logarhythms. When asked about his most recent adventure, Eddie eloquently articulated ‘After four years with the Logs, I will finally feel that I have done something great in my life.’ How wise.

Contrary to the plethora of evidence indicating otherwise, Eddie is really just a regular college kid, who likes to do normal college things. He enjoys grabbing pizza with his fellow twigs, sleeping in, and just chillin’. Eddie Kim really is extraordinary, but he is also a great normal kid, and great guy, and a great friend (especially in a fight – he’s a nine degree black belt in six different martial arts disciplines).

Teddy

Deep in the harsh, uncharted jungles of Haiti, there is a river filled with the essence of pure soul. The water’s misty depths have been jealously guarded for centuries by a sightless overseer, a legendary figure known only as ‘Stevie Wonder.’ However, one young, haitian child named Teddy Lewis managed to befriend the guardian, and was soon able to barter a whole roll of bubble wrap for just one drop of this magical liquid. But, as he leaned down over the water, the riverbank gave way, and the child plunged into its silvery embrace. Hours went by, then suddenly, the youth emerged; transformed! No more was he the wan, clumsy Teddy Lewis he was that morning, he had become the suave, dashingly good looking Teddy Toussaint. Through this freak accident, he had become ‘The greater than Stevie’ and made his way to America to show the world what he could do. When this new Teddy so much as spoke, women would faint from sheer unbridled lust. But when he sang, the circumstances of his rebirth shone through, and a smokey baritone mixed with sterling, unrestrained high notes to create sounds that can only be described as pure soul. Yet until he came to MIT and was discovered by The Logs, Teddy had been struggling. For as every real MIT student knows, ‘with great power comes great responsibility.’ But with the Logarhythms’ help, Teddy has learned to control his powers and utilizes them in perfect measure to make every audience weak at the knees, with occasional loss of bladder control, (we’re still working on that one). This may seem the end, but no dear reader it is just the beginning. For with every passing day, Teddy’s powers grow and refine, taking him ever towards his final metamorphoses. Just as he was once the boy Teddy Lewis who became the heartthrob Teddy Toussaint, so too will he one day be known as the man, the one, the legend; Teddy Wonder.

White Chocolate

Zach got his start in music through whistling in taverns in his homeland of Denmark. Sitting on top of a stool he would whistle the classics, such as ‘Highway to Hell However after his friend and mentor John Wayne passed away Zach fell into a state of perpetual gloom. He vowed to give up whistling forever. Zach wandered for days through the forests and hillsides of Denmark forests and hillsides once filled with whistle. He would scream out in agony ‘WHY ME!?!?!?’ He turned to harder forms of music like the recorder – and even singing. His life was just a downhill spiral. Some years later while the Logs were out for a jog they came upon a clearing. In this clearing they saw a man empowered – a man filled with song! As they approached him they could see that he was giving a performance for all the creatures of the forest – even the wolverines. His beautiful flowing tones washed over the Logs as they listened to the equivalent of sonic alchemy. After the show Tommy Gerrity approached him and asked the man to join he and his merry band of minstrels in their quest for awesome. Although initially reluctant because of his previous scars associated with whistling Zach joined the group and the rest of this story is history.

Wayne

Born on December 26, Nathan Robert is God’s late Christmas present to the world. Especially the female world. Have you ever seen this baller in a toga? This vanilla wonder is so hot he comes out of the box pre-melted like a shake. Slurp… mmmmm, that’s good. But I digress. Nate, a 2013er from Stillman Valley, Illinois, throws down a mean baritone sound with all the bump of a suped up car stereo system, yet all the smooth of Megan Fox’s left leg. If that’s not enough you should hear him play the piano or the trumpet. When he’s not wooing girls, with his musical talent Nate likes to ride his bike, hereby dubbed the Blue Stallion, scooter-style. Nate also enjoys soccer mid center. Once a shooting/point guard in basketball Nate rains shots all day long and in the night he just rains. When it comes to golf he’s a pro because he knows how to get it in. Nate also likes fishing which is kind of ironic since he’s already quite the catch. Nate Robert is a straight G. He is already known in some circles as Goldie-Locks, for his curly blonde hair. To others he is known as Nate the Boy Wonder. He will doubtless gain many more nicknames as word of his legendary adventures spread far and wide. The name that sticks best in my mind is friend.

Goose

In the quiet marshes of Duluth, Minnesota, word finally spread that a true beast surfaced from the underworld dungeons. At the age of six, mighty Gustav tread the mile-deep rivers with geese and ducklings, and at eleven he had slain his first poisonous scorpion fish with the blink of an eye. As a young and innocent boy he roamed the sketchy landings on a rowing boat, giving verbal love to female passerby high above him. And as his golden blond hair shone brighter than ever and exaggerated biceps emerged with years of hardcore rowing, females just couldn&#39t stand him. From the intricate vibrations of his nostrils and throat came the deepest pitches only a couple of Logs could match. And with the most addicting of smiles he could cause females to freeze on the spot and engage. You can easily spot him because all he needs to protect his gargantuan feet from the cold are birch and white, ankle-high socks. Gustav is a rare stimulant with the physicality of a beast. If you&#39re smooth enough, have him sit in front of a piano and render an Elton John masterpiece. Attraction guaranteed.