Imagine yourself in a staring contest with a bass guitar. Next, imagine it’s painted with some really cool design–flames and skulls or something. Now imagine that bass guitar is six feet tall, and is sporting one badass fro. That guitar is Garrett. Garrett pumps the bass beats, and does it all while showing off his unique dancing style. He has achieved complete mastery over many difficult dances, including ‘The Lamp Post,’ ‘The Rock,’ and ‘Tree Swaying Gently in the Wind. But do not let any of this tough exterior hide Garrett’s inner beauty. Garrett is a beacon of hope, don’t be intimidated. Just go up to him and ask: Will you sing me some dm-ba? Some doo-zop-ba-da?’ And maybe the gentle giant will agree and serenade you with his mellifluous bass voice. … Or maybe not. But you’ll at least get a strange look.
In the time of the Holy Roman Empire, the Prussian Pope Karl Marx the Lesser declared a holy decree that the German people would never again have names with one syllable. Not to be outdone, the Japanese emperor of the time declared that not only would their names be polysyllabic, but that the Romanizations would be spelled with alternating consonants and vowels. We have history to thank for the newest addition to the Logs lead section, Herr Kaufmannheimer von Watanabe-san, or Bergstein for short. This sexy halfie spends most of his time in front of the bathroom mirror, getting his hair to look just right, while taking advantage of the echoing tile walls, making him sound so amazing that every person in hearing distance gains another year on his or her life. In fact, it is rumored that Bergstein is the secret to immortality and will donate his vocal chords to medical research, but not before going CRAZY on stage with the Logs!
A native to the harsh environment of Massachusetts, the mysterious monster categorized by the scientific community as Millera michaelus is among one of the rarer breeds of musical mammals. Although seemingly unthreatening upon first appearance, he lulls in the unsuspecting with a false sense of security by utilizing his beautiful, airy tenor voice. However, once inside his zone of influence, one may observe his creepy monster side in his fits of ‘crazy.’ His cavern lies to the north in Random Hall where he slaves mercilessly, arranging vocal compositions for his Logarythmic Clan, only appearing from the depths to preform during ritualistic ceremonies. The Miller’s dedication and speed in creating masses of material for the Clan is unrivaled, sometimes working for nights on end without food or sleep, thus making his a vital role in the existence of the Clan.
Born from a failed Soviet experiment, Mike ‘Spike’ Lee, is a genetically engineered super human, endowed with an extraordinary intellect, super human speed and strength, and a voice which reaches low enough to bring walls down, and high enough to kill men. Mike spent most of his early years in captivity, being traded around by various terrorist groups wishing to use him as a weapon. He was captured by the US army during the invasion of Iraq, and incarcerated in a secret soundproof facility in Upstate New York. Because of his good behavior, he was released into the custody of the only men who could control his destructive powers: Bendall and the Superlogs. Now Spike uses his magnificent range and versatility to support of us with his booming bass, or to wow us with tremendously high notes. On his off time, Spike volunteers as a hearing ear man for deaf and mute bats.
Straight off the streets of Atlanta, Georgia, Jason Ku is 100% gangsta. Living in the ghetto forced Ku too hone his tough guy skills, which include rowing wid his crew, folding origamizzle, and hip-hop break dancing. Oh yeah, plus he’s got a crazy-high tenor voice that’ll stun even the meanest gangsta when he spontaneously breaks into a killa solo. Foshizzle. Here in Boston, Ku is busy with his new gang, composed solely of the girls that have fallen for his bad boy allure and insanely high voice. Don’t let this guy’s looks fool you… he is one tough Mo Fuggin’ J.
As a young lad, Bryan spent his days strolling the streets of Seoul, ignoring his mother’s instructions to not talk to strangers. He talked to anyone and everyone who would listen. When there was no one around to talk to, he would sing whatever came to mind. Fast forward to the present. Not much has changed, except for his now booming baritone voice. The Logs discovered his obvious singing talent and signed him to a four-year deal. What they didn’t know was that by the end of his days in Korea, Koo had developed into one of the best storytellers of our generation. After signing with the Logs, he began telling awesome stories, most often about his fraternity’s IM football game or his awesome weekend. Go ask him to tell you about his weekend and you will not regret it. Ladies and gentlemen, from Seoul, Korea… Bryan Koo.
When Stephane first walked into the audition room, the Logs fell completely silent, because nobody could pronounce his name right. They felt so sorry that they had to let him in before they even heard him singing. JUST KIDDING! The truth was that Stephane was too cool to try out for the logs his freshmen year and the Logs had to recruit him on his sophomore year. Amongst his busy frat rush schedule with Sigma Chi, he was generous enough to come try out and his mellifluous voice made half the ambiguous logs fall in love with him. While his suave voice he inherited from his French mother makes the audience reminisce of their first kiss, the Logs are waiting for his black side to awaken and bring some soul into the group. Stephane, although younger than the majority of his twig class, always supports the group with his generosity and his own harem of strikingly attractive ladies. However, his greater contribution comes from his profound knowledge of colonial age and slavery, which helps the ignorant Logs tremendously, when the group tries to interpret songs such as Warning sign or Holiday in Spain. Webmaster’s Note: This was written by Bryan Koo. That kid is crazy.